1. At the end of your shower turn the water really (or all the way) cold. This will wake you up and get blood flowing. It also closes your pores to allow for less dirt and bacteria to get in to help reduce acne problems.
2. If you need to withdraw more money than your limit, if you do it quickly enough, you can withdraw your limit twice from the same ATM and sometimes the one next to it before it stops you from withdrawing any more.
3. Keep a spare car key in your wallet/purse. If you have a bulky key that won’t fit in your wallet, get a key made that doesn’t have the electronic chip on it. It will still unlock the car, it just won’t start it.
4. Riding a bicycle will save you lots of money on gas, parking, medical bills, and gym memberships.
5. If you are speeding and suddenly up ahead see a cop that clearly just tagged you, slow down and wave to him/her. Your odds of being pulled over are quite a bit reduced.
6. Don’t be rude, but NEVER answer any cops questions when they call you in for questioning.
7. If your credit card magnetic stripe starts to get worn from use and being in your wallet, and doesn’t always read in the card reader, you can use the plastic bag trick. Put the card in a plastic grocery bag and then swipe it. Not sure why it works, but it does. Taking it further though, you can simply apply a piece of quality cellophane tape over the mag stripe for a “permanent” plastic bag trick.
8. On your DVD press stop-stop-play-skip to skip the ads and go straight to the movie.
9. Macy’s credit cards usually have a 20% discount on purchases. I pay with the Macy’s card, then while still at the register, I immediately pay off the charge with my debit card. I just got 20% off my purchase and I never get a credit card bill. – this also works with JCP and kohl’s cards.
10. When you buy something online, you usually get a chance to enter a promo code before you purchase. Google the promo codes. They’re out there – you can get anything from free shipping to 25% off the purchase.
11. Turn it off, then on again.
12. Buy things out of season, this can save you money. Unless its food, then buy it in season.
13. When you have forgotten someones name, simply say : “I’m sorry, but what was your name one more time.” They may act offended, but when they give you there first name you simply reply “No, I meant your last name.” (more socially acceptable to forget). Bingo. First and last names.
14. Gently work an orange in your hands to loosen the peel from the fruit. This makes it easy enough to get the whole peel in one shot.
15. Can’t find your car in a parking lot? Hitting the lock button trying to get it to beep? Extend the distance of key-less entry by putting the key under your chin. The signal will resonate in your skull increasing the range dramatically. I swear to god this works, and I’m told it’s safe because the radiation is non-ionizing.
16. If you get a ticket on the windshield of your car, you can potentially get away with parking illegally in the same lot for the rest of the day by keeping the ticket on your windshield.
17. Most tinfoil and saran wrap boxes have little push-in tabs on the sides. If you push them in, the roll won’t fall out when you try to rip out a sheet of it.
18. This one changed my life. If you’re at home/work/party or GOD forbid your girlfriend’s house and the toilet starts to overflow, take the lid off the back reservoir part and lift the long handle as far up as it will go. The water will stop rising and then you can quietly mutter curses at it till it goes back down.
19. To peel a boiled egg, roll it around on your plate for a while until all of the eggshell is cracked evenly. Then it’s easy to remove the complete shell at once. After you boil eggs immediately place them in ice cold water for a few minutes. No vinegar or salt or oil or whatever people use. Shells slip right off.
20. You spill any liquid that will stain on your carpet (red wine, juice, etc), pour some salt on it. Work it into the carpet – just rub it in with your hands. Leave it there for a few hours (for serious stains, up to a day) and vacuum it out. Voila, stain gone.
21. If you park in a large parking garage/shopping centre, get out and take a photo on your cell phone of the nearest parking sign (Area B2, etc). You will never lose your car again.
22. Peel a banana from the bottom.
23. 4,2,3,1 — Vending machine cheat code will grant access to vending machine’s diagnostic menu. most times the fun features are disabled, but I’ve gotten a free powerade and a couple cokes in the past.
24. When you go to a restaurant where they bring you your drink in a cup/glass, ask for no ice or for ice on the side. Often what they do is load your drink with ice so that it seems as if there’s more in there, especially at bars.
25. When you pour soda, pour it along the side of the cup instead of directly into it – like they do at bars. This keeps a lot of the “fizzyness” in the drink and as a result, it keeps a lot of the texture and flavor.
26. Dial 0 during most automatic menu phone systems to be taken to operator to route your call. also, mashing buttons may work as well. Whenever you have a voice automated phone system, typically saying “representative” gets you someone right away.
27. If you back up the toilet at work or someones house with no plunger available, look for liquid hand soap. Dump some in the toilet and wait about five minutes and flush again. The soap lubricates the nasties so they’ll flush away. If it’s still clogged, find a way to dump hot water in the toilet, as it can have the same effect. Use the trash can or something. If it’s still clogged, kick the door open and run like hell. Find a new job or new friends. You just left their toilet full of hot soapy shit soup, you asshole.
28. When I am in a large shopping centre (mall) I take a photo of the information board on my phone so I can look up how to get to stores without having to go back to the board.
29. When commenting on something, whether it be Tickld, facebook, etc. finish typing your comment, stop, re-read it twice and then ask yourself what you are trying to accomplish with said comment before posting.
30. If you gently rock back and forth while pooping it will take significantly less time and make it easier to pass more “troublesome” movements.
31. Try and get in good with the clerks/secretaries of where ever you work or do business. Those are the people who can most easily cover your ass when you fuck up.
32. If you don’t know if a baby is a boy or a girl ask the baby “What’s your name?” And the parent will answer. That way no angry mom or dad getting mad because you can’t tell because they dress there baby in green.
33. On flights, if you are fighting for an arm rest with a stranger. Bring your arm (the one that’s on the same side the arm rest you want) up to your mouth and sneeze/cough. Then place it by the armrest. The other person will move their arm. Has had 100% success rate.
34. To stop a sneeze, tickle the roof of your mouth with your tongue.
35. Avoid forgetting something in the morning by placing it in your shoes. (Works best if you wear the same pair every day.)
36. Give yourself half an hour of downtime in the morning, between being ready to leave and leaving, and your day won’t feel so rushed.
37. When you’re talking to someone and can’t tell if they are interested in the subject/their mind is elsewhere, cross your arms. If they cross theirs as well, they are truly listening.
38. Men of all shapes and sizes: Wear clothing that fits. Nothing looks trashier than a guy wearing a shirt two sizes too big or a pair of uncomfortable looking pants. This applies to fat guys too, don’t try to hide your flub by wearing large t-shirts and jackets as they only make you look bigger! Instead get fitted and wear clothing that fits you.
39. Listen to music when doing stuff by yourself, it will make the most mundane task feel awesome.
40. If you want to get into a sold out concert simply go to the store and buy two bags of ice. Walk up to the front of the line and say, “I’m the ice guy”. Free concert, minus the price of the ice.
41. If you are quitting something e.g. smoking, drinking etc. Every time you feel the urge to do said addiction : Go for a run, do 20 sit ups, 20 push ups etc. This way you can start to associate exercise with quitting and you get fitter the more you quit which can make you feel better.
42. No matter where you are in public, make it a habit of noting every reflective surface around you. Usually you can find one that gives a decent view of who is behind you. If you’re at work, strategically place cds or other reflective objects so you can always see whose standing behind you in your cube.
43. ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A Start
44. Before you take a dookie, throw in a piece or two of toilet paper in the toilet bowl to reduce/avoid splashing and that kerplunk noise.
45. When you eat hard shell taco’s, do it over your nachos. That way when they disintegrate, you can eat the bits you lost with your nachos.
46. Walk on the sides of stairs to avoid/reduce creaks.
47. Talk to everyone like you would your best friend, and smile.
48. To get through tech support quickly with an ISP, choose the option for becoming a new customer. Then when you get there ask to transfer to tech support. Usually they won’t put you on hold because they see the number coming from the new customer line.
49. Pull on your hair in the shower, if it squeaks you already shampooed it.
50. When studying arts at university, take notes on your prof’s political/philosophical ideologies and worldviews. Regurgitate in essays and on exams for an A grade. Also, margins, font, font size, etc. are incredibly important. Never neglect these.
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